Ten Ways to Procrastinate When You Should Be Writing Your Dissertation

1. Cook elaborate meals.  For every meal.

2. Related: Bake.  Modify the recipes to make things extra difficult on yourself.

3. Clean. Everything. Ever.

4. Establish elaborate self grooming routines.  Moisturize your cuticles.  Put on face masks.  Deep condition your hair.  Floss very thoroughly.  Shape your toenails.

5. Take your dog on very long walks.  You’re being healthy.  What’s wrong with that?  Right… right..? 

6. Got to bed late.  Wake up late.  Feel groggy all day and say, “I’m going to bed on time tonight and setting an alarm for tomorrow.  I really need to establish a structured routine.”  Repeat daily.

7. Look for jobs knowing that your only hope of landing said job is actually being awarded your Masters (but for that to happen, you need to write your dissertation).

8. Open lots of tabs that may actually be helpful to your research.  Get frustrated when your computer begins running slowly.  Give up and browse social media on your phone instead.

9. Suddenly become very diligent about responding to emails.

10.  Write humorous blog entries.